Saying "I love you"

Somtimes saying those three little words, "I. Love. You.", can be extremely difficult even you're saying it to a family member.

This morning I was on the phone with my mom; I was trying to have a serious conversation with her about household and my faith.  But she continually reverted to laughing about it all and refused to realize the seriousness of it, especially in my life.

I was able to take deep breaths through the whole conversation but when it came time to hang up and she said "I love you" it was hard for me to say it back after she hadn't been taking two of the most important things in my life seriously.  I wanted so badly to say "Yep, bye.".

Knowing that saying this would not only be hurtful to my mother but would also be deliberatly refusing to carry out the Lord's will.  I removed my mind from the conversation for a moment and prayed that the Lord may give me the strength and peace to tell my mother that I love her, even though she had just deeply hurt me.  After the prayer I returned my mind to the conversation and was able to tell my mother that I love her, with peace both in my mind and in my heart.

INTRODUCTION

Myself:

My name is not important, because this blog is not about me it is about the Lord's love being poured out through me.  However I will tell you this: I am a student at Franciscan University of Steubenville Ohio majoring in Theology and Social Work (which I believe will help a great deal in the mission I have been called to live out) and I am currently an intent to Regina Angelorum.

The Call:

Around the time of Ash Wednesday (2013) the Lord worked through random people in my life (including future household sisters, one of my best friends, and [at the time] a guy friend a didn't know very well)  He had them all shower me with love.  Not earthly "love", or just being really kind, but true love, love like that of Christ.  In the course of the week, the guy friend I mentioned above became a close friend simply because of this love he was pouring out.

I took all this Godly love I was being immersed in as request from Him; a request asking me to love all of His children as He loves them, especially those who do not know of His unconditional, everlasting love for them.  Bringing this to my heart I decided that the best way for me to live out this love is not to go out of my way to find those ignorant of His love, but rather shower it to all those I come in contact with throughout my daily-life.

This means that even if I just make eye contact with someone as they pass by, I will show love in my eyes and love through my smile towards them.  Even those who annoy me, I can't stand to be around, or I just don't like, I will not take the time to think of that.  Instead I will put aside my petty feelings and out-pour as goodness and love as Lord, Himself loves us.

First Struggle:

This weekend I went on household retreat, before I left a guy who had scarred me last semester asked me to pray for him.  Agreeing to intercede for him was difficult because I still held so much resentment for towards him, but knowing that what God had asked me to did not have exceptions, I gladly agreed.
When we went to adoration on the first night of retreat, I was NOT looking forward to praying for this guy, but I KNEW that it was what God was asking me to do.  So I did... I can not even articulate how much peace I was brought by interceding for him.
Through that pray, a few other pray exercises that weekend, and both the Love and Grace of God, I was finally able to let go of all resentment I had for him.

How this Blog Came to Be:

Writing has always been a passion of mine, whether it be simple journaling, writing stories, or anything else.  And so on retreat I was telling Padre of mission the Lord has asked of me with and he asked me to keep him updated on how I was doing with it.  I started thinking about Padre's request and realized that if I blogged about my mission then I would be able to share it with him and everyone else AND I would be able to hold myself accountable for reflecting on how well I was carrying out my mission and how I struggled with it.